Rewire the Government

If you were to re-plan our government, how would you do it?

Here are some things I'd do.

First off, money earned in the form of fines or tickets (a la speeding ticket, moving violation, etc) would not go into the coffers of those who collect them. This would prevent fines from getting out of hand and cops from feeling the "need" to issue tickets. Remember, the police are a service of the government to serve and protect. When was the last time you felt they served and protected you? I'm not saying it isn't experienced, as there are a lot of great and good cops out there, but it doesn't feel like a common occurrence anymore. The money would go to charities and charitable services, distributed as the people see fit. The force itself would be provided as a service via taxes, not fines.

Healthcare would be socialistic, but not given to non-citizens. It is the same reason we went to a socialistic highway system; it is cheaper when payed for en mass and spreading the cost around put's everyone at ease in times of financial struggle with health problems on the horizon. This would reduce costs, remove the need for pricey insurance companies and plans, and drugs would not be controlled by megacorps. Throw in tort reform so someone with a screwed up surgery doesn't rape the community for more money than they would have made in 10 lifetimes, and you reduce it even further. Unfortunately, mistakes happen and doctors and nurses are no more perfect than you or me. Their mistakes shouldn't make an individual rich. I'm not saying that someone who dies on an operating table from a stupid mistake shouldn't have repercussions, or someone who gets the wrong eye taken out in a surgery shouldn't be covered financially, but they certainly shouldn't become rich overnight. Instead, take the money for more training and a better reviewing process for practicing doctors and nurses. I for one would like to have our doctors more abundant, better paid, and have it become a desired position again. I have many health service providers in my family, and it seems DRs are under more and more stress, more and more scrutiny, less and less pay, and less and less appreciation.

Law in general would be wiped out and we'd try a different avenue. First off, individual court cases would not set precedent. What this means is, a bad judge can't decide for everyone how to interpret laws and rulings. Right now, a bad judge can make a bad call and that now becomes precedent for everyone. I'm not happy with that at all. I think laws in general would best be created by select teams around the country, written in a non-lawyeristic writing and written in spirit as opposed to explicit lawyer speak. Laws would then be voted by general public with IQ above 100. That means, you have to be intelligent to vote, above average. Now I gather that this could lead toward an elitist set of laws, but I think it would actually be better controlled by intelligent public decision. Laws could be voted on to be re-written, good to go, or no go. A 60% general population vote would enact them. The idea here is to control the amount of law that goes into place, make it readable by your near-average person, and ensure that it makes sense to the population. The laws being written today are ridiculous. How about a health bill that nobody, NOT ONE PERSON, can understand the entire context and/or impact of. That is shameful on the part of our government today, and is outrageous. Doing this method also ensures that there is no more lobbying, no more log-rolling, and no more pork. A reduction in pork of our government would mean huge impact on our overall taxes.

Which leads me to my next point. Taxes in general will be controlled in the location they are gathered for the services provided. Things like defense and health care, which are national services, would be taken from everyone, but I'm talking about preventing someone's tax base from El Paso TX contributing to putting up a new statue in New York, New York. I'm talking about putting an ax to pork for good.

These ideas are just a start, but this is the direction I would take. They're not perfect, but I think they're sure as hell better than what we have today.

Costco Patrick

Fucking glasses, nose piece fell out. When did this happen?! How long have my glasses been crooked from the failure? Now I REALLY look like a dork.

Hello Costco guy. I didn't know you sold glasses at Costco? Eh, I don't really need a new pair, more just a repair. Do you do repairs? Oh, great! Yes, please repair these glasses.
...
Very cool. Thanks, what's the damage? Free you say!? What the fuck, when was the last time I got service and hardware of any sort for free!?

Man, you just earned a lifetime supporter.

....

The next day I was in the store, buying two new pairs of glasses. And I'll be back again, maybe a couple of years, but definitely be back.

Spacially Unaware

Sure, I grabbed you and pulled you aside. My bad. I'm sorry for keeping you from getting bulldozed over by someone you had no idea was jogging on the JOGGING track.

Sure, I did it at the grocery store too, right before that car would have hit you.

Yes, I moved your grocery cart that you placed diagonally across the grocery aisle because you're an incompetent, rude, spacially unaware cunt.

Next time, I'll just let you be run over, or knocked down, or wait for someone to say something to you for leaving your cart in the middle of the aisle. I won't keep you from meandering in front of someone who is clearly trying to get around you. I won't prevent you from backing into that nice display of China and porcelain. No, don't worry, I won't stop you again. This time, I'll get yelled at because I DIDN'T prevent an accident. But at least this time, I'll rear back and point out all of these failures on your part that I prevented. Maybe next time you'll shut your fucking mouth and thank me for protecting you.

Dumb ungrateful bitch.

Merry Fucking Christmas

Christmas would be great... if it wasn't for Christmas. Time away at work, some decent seasonal change here, kickass eggnog, and Santa porn. Who doesn't love watchin' santa get the twinkle in his eye?

Anyway, I digress. After spending almost 800$, I'm already feeling my blood pressure go up, as I undoubtedly will receive a "That's it" from a family member, or perhaps the heart-warming "oh, uh thanks." Yea, thought that counts my ass. Family doesn't want gift cards, or presents, they want money. Fucking green, cocaine covered hundred dollar bills.

One of these days I should wrap a hand grenade, with the bow attached to the pin, and just magically find myself in the bathroom when it goes off. Merry Christmas indeed, especially when life insurance pays out.

Bah humbug.

Nice Girls Fuck Like Corpses

So, I'm by no means a male whore. I'm not a clubber. I'm not a jock. Not a popular guy. But I've slept with a little over 20 women, and I must say that I have discovered a general rule: The nicer the girl, the lamer the lay.

That sounds like a terrible thing to say, I know. And that rule doesn't go from nicer to bitchier, that rule goes from nicer to crazier. The greatest sex I ever had was from a girl who was abused when she was younger, was a total nut, but man, she could screw like a porn star. It might have taken getting her drunk to do it, but once she was, all bets are off.

Now I'm also not saying there aren't exceptions. I too have fucked a very nice girl, 18 or so at the time, and she was fantastic. Took it like a champ and was appreciative of how I satisfied her as well.

Just a general rule.

Tree Shopping

Argue about getting a plastic tree or a real one, and giving in for the real one to make the girl happy: check
Find a tree: check
Get it into the car...after 30 minutes: check
Discover tree sap everywhere, hands, shirt, coat: check
Get home and discover the girlfriend has no idea where her tree base is: check
Finally get the fucker into the base, wash off for thirty minutes, and sit down: check
Somewhere along the way realize she really may not be worth the trouble she puts me through: check
Figuring out how long to put up with this shit before finally saying something: In Progress...

Pr0n Surfing

So sue me. I'm a consumer of porn. A collector. Perhaps even a connesuir. Sure, I do it in the privacy of my own home, and I don't rub it in people's faces, or even distribute to my friends. If you asked me, I'd be honest about it as I'm really not ashamed. It isn't like people aren't aware how much of it is out there.

My rant is about two genres, one of which is not entertaining, the other of which is flat out terrible.

First, I'm not a fan of the "rape" scenes. Sure, I'm fine with playing some of those games with a girlfriend I trust and who trusts me, and I'm aware 90% of the ones you find online are staged. But I'm NOT a fan. At all. I just don't like the idea of watching a scene I think to be staged but actually a real rape is taking place, forcefully taking advantage of a girl for publish viewership and distribution. Not a fan at all.

Second, and this one makes my blood boil, child porn. There are huge amounts wrong with this. I'm not even sure I'm talking about the consensual 16 and 17 year olds. I'm talking about the naive ones who have no idea what is going on, or the ones that are being forced. The ones whose lives are ruined, and they'll need to be visiting a shrink forever. FOREVER, and never to be made whole again. Where do you draw the line at age? Basically, anyone who doesn't comprehend what is going on. You can't argue, ever, EVER, that a 13 year old can comprehend the implications of what sex is, and sure as hell what getting it videotaped is, let alone some 9 year old, or worse. This shit as got to stop. Another serious problem with this shit is that if you've seen it on your computer, according to new laws, you've just committed a crime that may warrant you getting into jail and being registered as a sex offender for life. That's right, if you reach a link that takes you to a child porn page, you may end up being visited by the FBI. Granted, I haven't heard of any case where someone has "accidentally" gotten to child porn and been prosecuted for it, but we probably will. Anyway, that's a side argument. The real argument is that exploitation of a child, someone who can't even comprehend what is going on, is flat out wrong and I'm not a fan of surfing for the next hot 20 year old taking it like a champ and finding a fucking kid with sausage bigger than their tiny fingers poking out of their fist. You motherfuckers.