General Population

I just can't go to the grocery store on Sundays. I don't know what it is, I don't know why, but I swear the fucking nutcases all decide they need food on Sunday. The complete social selfish cocksuckers. Here are the people you will meet on Sunday at the common grocery store:

• Parents who have their child on a leash..long enough for them to run around you and get you entangled in their sticky, dirty, leash that has been chewed on, drooled on, had candy applied to it, and dragged through mud


• Little old ladies who think it is socially acceptable to park their cart diagonal across the lane while they ponder the meaning of their ancient existence or review the label of prune juice


• Children who have no idea who you are, but are completely comfortable punching you, running around your cart, inspecting your carts contents, screaming, and crying


• People who don't realize you're trying to get around them while they chat on their cell phone about how they anally rape themselves in the middle of the night with toothbrushes


• Illiterate or math deficient drones who either can't count to 10 or can't read as they clearly have a cart full of shit in the express lane


• And my favorite, the mass litter breeders who bring their 10 kids ages 1 to 12, none of them parented, and can cause a traffic jam at every corner and yet surprisingly always manage to find a way to the next item on my list before I do